This may be your Gamma's radiation

I'm normally curious, so I'll ask a million questions about the technology involved in my treatment.

This whole brain tumor(s) thing is a glaring exception. I haven't asked nearly enough questions to satisfy my own curiosity. Mainly because all of this mess has been thrown in my lap over the course of this week. What a way to really fuck up a perfectly good birthday, right? Yeah, that thought has crossed my mind. A few times.

Anyway, I started radition yesterday. So, as of right now, I've had 2/15 treatments.

Tuesday (I think. This week has been a bit jumbled/busy...) I had my "mask" made before I left from my appointment with the radiation oncologist. Perfect timing for Halloween, you say? ALMOST.
The tech really just stretched a soft, warm plastic mesh over my whole face. Really. She took a piece of plastic (comfortingly warm, very pliant) and covered my WHOLE HEAD as I lay on a CT scan stretcher. You guys, it *was* pliant for a very short period of time. Like around 20 seconds. And then, it hardened into "Jason" from the Friday the 13th movies. Except I could *almost* breathe through it without freaking out.
I really tapped into my yogic breathing & meditation for this. And I will continue to do so for the next 13 sessions. Luckily, the radiation sessions are very short, around 5 minutes. All I have to do it lie perfectly still. The "mask" helps my head stay put. My body is a different story. That is where I rely on previous attempts at meditation to help. (So far, so good. The only other contender for *I'MGOINGTOFREAKOUTNOW* level is the brain scan MRI.)
Like I said, radiation is very quick, compared to an injection. But very odd.
With chemo, I just SAT, in a recliner, for hours.
With scans (CT/MRI/PET/bone), I just have to lie perfectly still for 30-45 minutes. (Narcolepsy makes this pretty easy. I mostly take a nap.)

With the radiation, it's very fast, but it SMELLS. It smells like someone (EVIL) is waving bucket of old, dirty, bleachy water in my face. It's not a pleasant smell at all. After the first session, I had to ask the radiation tech if "it" was supposed to smell. I didn't describe the smell at all, mostly because I was bewildered.
**Please note that the techs are in a totally different room while I'm getting the actual radiation. The just put my mask on, get me lined up properly, and head out. One doesn't want to irradiate a perfectly good tech. They're apparently not easy to replace.**
The tech just giggled at me, and said, "EVERYONE asks that question!"

I took that to mean that *EVERYONE* asks, so yes, "it" does smell, and NOBODY describes the smell because it's gross. Really gross.

Radioactive... Almost...

I went to see the radiation oncology nurse & doctor today. Nurse asked me lots of questions, about my medical history, which is becoming pretty obscene at this point, and about my general health (which was pretty fantastic before cancer, but whatever...) Doctor did the same tests that my aunt and my oncologist did to test my balance, see if I favored a side of my body, etc.
Both Nurse & Doctor were great.

I'm now scheduled for 15 sessions of whole brain radiation, then we'll test again & see how I look. By that, I mean I'll have another MRI & see if my brain looks like it should look. Fingers crossed. Again.

So, of course that means that I'm having dreams about being a drooling, mouth-breathing fool after "they" irradiate my brain. 15 times.

I'm told there are very few side effects. I'm also warned that I'll probably lose my hair again. Although the doctor said, "You'll lose your hair." And the nurse said, "You know, that depends on each individual patient. Some lose all their hair. Some just thin out. Some lose patches."
So there's that. Maybe I'll use this as an excuse to dye it some funky colors? Or probably, I'll just shave it again and suck it up.

Of course, my hair is *just* long enough to start really curling up. It's about 3 inches long now. Seems a damn shave to have to lose it again...

So, I'll leave you with my new motto:
Better than the alternative.

Early Birthday Presents

No, not really.

For a few weeks, I've had some balance issues and some vision problems. My vision problems, we explained away with the excuses that I had not seen my eye doctor in over a year. The balance issues were so infrequent that I never remembered to mention it to anyone.

Then, we noticed that one eye was a little "droopy," especially when I got tired. So, M went with me to my last infusion, which was 10/17. And she made sure to mention my "droopy" eye. Sharon, my infusion nurse, promptly called my aunt, and we went across the hall to see her. She and my doctor did a couple of little tests to see if my body favored either side, which it did not. It turns out that the right side of my face is paralyzed, and is "textbook" Bell's Palsy. My doctor even said, "Yep. Textbook."

They sent me off to have an MRI of my head, just to be sure and to "rule out" other factors.

Except, it didn't rule out anything. The MRI shows a couple of small tumors, which means my alien invaders aren't quite ready to give up the ghost yet...