I had another echo-cardiogram today. I get one every two-three months. I have another one scheduled for November.
Apparently, one of my infusion drugs has a tendency to cause heart problems. My drugs, so far, are working so well, I am always afraid that my echo will come back bad. Like, bad enough that I have to stop infusion. Frankly, I'm willing to do infusion every three weeks until forever. I don't care that it makes me achy and really tired for a few days. I'll be happy for the ache, for the tired few days every three weeks, as long as my cancer stays in check.
That's all I've got for now. I'm just feeling a bit pensive, and I'll probably be nervous until I call my aunt in a few days to check the results of the echo...
Fingers crossed that the news stays status quo.
30 September 2014
19 September 2014
Scans.. Again...
I had scans again on Wednesday. CT & bone scan. CT scans are super fast, like less than 10 minutes, but required fasting all morning until my appointment at 1pm. I managed to sneak breakfast in, mainly because I'm a horrible person if I don't get breakfast EVERY morning. It's a rare thing for me to skip breakfast in general, but I've found that if I do, I'm a bottomless pit for the rest of the day, and my attitude leaves much to be desired. Since I'm at work by 8am, I figured a solid 5 hour fast would have to be enough. Thankfully, it was. Also, thankfully, I was able to grab a salad from the cafeteria at the hospital after my CT scan, because the bone scan works on a radioactive tracer, and I didn't have to continue fasting.
Today, I went to the oncologist for my follow-up. As usual, I was nervous, and had been nervous since Wednesday. I normally just see my Aunt (the NP for my oncologist) when I go to Dr. Madden's office. This time, I got to see my aunt & my doc!! And it was great news!!
My bone scan showed "subtle, decreasing activity," mainly around my pelvis, where I had a biopsy last year during all the preliminary stuff before chemo. The report stressed the "subtle" part, which is fantastic news.
The CT scan confirmed the "subtle" activity in my pelvis. No mention of the (former?) tumor in my breast.
Needless to say, my aunt, Dr. Madden, and I are thrilled.
Just FYI: As with any metastatic cancer, there is no "remission." But this is the best news I can hope for! And I'm grateful for it.
Today, I went to the oncologist for my follow-up. As usual, I was nervous, and had been nervous since Wednesday. I normally just see my Aunt (the NP for my oncologist) when I go to Dr. Madden's office. This time, I got to see my aunt & my doc!! And it was great news!!
My bone scan showed "subtle, decreasing activity," mainly around my pelvis, where I had a biopsy last year during all the preliminary stuff before chemo. The report stressed the "subtle" part, which is fantastic news.
The CT scan confirmed the "subtle" activity in my pelvis. No mention of the (former?) tumor in my breast.
Needless to say, my aunt, Dr. Madden, and I are thrilled.
Just FYI: As with any metastatic cancer, there is no "remission." But this is the best news I can hope for! And I'm grateful for it.
01 September 2014
Happy Labor Day!
It's Labor Day today. I have a "big girl" job, so that means my company pays me to stay home today. It's a rather unusual thing... to have the day off and to be paid for it.
For the past few months, since I ran out of the leave time that I'd had saved up, any days I was not at work, I just didn't get paid for those. FMLA helps me keep my job, since companies don't really like it if you don't work and don't have leave time to compensate.
My boss has been fantastic! He helped me get forms together when I started this mess. He helped me navigate through FMLA forms and requests for emergency leave from my company. Not that any other boss wouldn't have tried to help, but he had some health issues a few years back, including a kidney transplant, so he was very familiar with the particular red tape that comes with a significant health crisis. The first few weeks certainly felt, in my mind, like a crisis. It's starting to feel a lot more manageable now.
Being finished with chemo helped. I'm not as sick all the time. I'm slowing getting my energy back. I'm still not 100% yet, but I'm able to go to work almost every day, excluding infusions every 3 weeks, and half-days when I get injections every 4 weeks. I have scans less frequently, so I'm off for parts of those days too.
I still feel guilty when I'm off work. I know I'm not taking advantage in any way, but I feel guilty not being there. Like I'm leaving my coworkers to pick up my slack. My coworkers have been amazing, though. I'm really lucky to be part of the team that I work with. I mentioned my guilt to one of my coworkers, and she said, "Don't feel guilty. It's not something you can control. We don't expect you to control it. Just take the time you need. Work isn't going anywhere." My boss said almost the same thing, "You don't need to feel guilty. You're here when you can be. You do your job. Relax."
So that's what I'm doing today. I'm relaxing. I'm watching movies on HBO & Netflix. I'm updating this blog. I'm actively NOT feeling guilty for things I can't control. Another lesson learned (or in progress,) courtesy of cancer.
For the past few months, since I ran out of the leave time that I'd had saved up, any days I was not at work, I just didn't get paid for those. FMLA helps me keep my job, since companies don't really like it if you don't work and don't have leave time to compensate.
My boss has been fantastic! He helped me get forms together when I started this mess. He helped me navigate through FMLA forms and requests for emergency leave from my company. Not that any other boss wouldn't have tried to help, but he had some health issues a few years back, including a kidney transplant, so he was very familiar with the particular red tape that comes with a significant health crisis. The first few weeks certainly felt, in my mind, like a crisis. It's starting to feel a lot more manageable now.
Being finished with chemo helped. I'm not as sick all the time. I'm slowing getting my energy back. I'm still not 100% yet, but I'm able to go to work almost every day, excluding infusions every 3 weeks, and half-days when I get injections every 4 weeks. I have scans less frequently, so I'm off for parts of those days too.
I still feel guilty when I'm off work. I know I'm not taking advantage in any way, but I feel guilty not being there. Like I'm leaving my coworkers to pick up my slack. My coworkers have been amazing, though. I'm really lucky to be part of the team that I work with. I mentioned my guilt to one of my coworkers, and she said, "Don't feel guilty. It's not something you can control. We don't expect you to control it. Just take the time you need. Work isn't going anywhere." My boss said almost the same thing, "You don't need to feel guilty. You're here when you can be. You do your job. Relax."
So that's what I'm doing today. I'm relaxing. I'm watching movies on HBO & Netflix. I'm updating this blog. I'm actively NOT feeling guilty for things I can't control. Another lesson learned (or in progress,) courtesy of cancer.
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