This week, I had only about 2 days where I felt like myself. The rest of the time? I was simply exhausted. I have slept so much in the past 3 weeks, and part of that might be the fact that I was trying desperately not to get sick, trying to manage severe bone pain for 4 days, and trying to work through it all.
I really didn't have the energy to do much of anything through this last recovery period. I basically, worked when I could, and slept the rest of the time. I felt miserable. I wanted to do all the things that I used to do. I couldn't do 99.9% of it. And I felt useless.
I normally just like to go.go.go.go until I run myself ragged and *have* to crash. I admit - it's not the healthiest thing to do, even when a person is cancer-free, but I've always had a need to keep moving, not stay still. It's just as much of a weakness to not be still, as it is a strength to keep moving.
I'm learning this dichotomy as I go through my chemo. I'm learning to respect my new boundaries. I'm not particularly happy about it, but I'm learning, as I always do -- The Hard Way.
Would you expect anything different from me? I hope not.
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